What if

I started blogging again? Would anyone read this? Would I have to exorcise the old posts in order to save those blighted?

I'm feeling rage at my mother and it seems a good time to return to the medium. Also to indulge in nostalgic excesses for a primarily female world, i.e. Camp.

Worth Watching

Bush and Bird

It is a strange world we live in, Mr. Bush. A strange strange world . . .

He Won!!!!

I am so happy and so surprised by my happiness. I feel quite overwhelmed by it, actually.

Why We Ought to Love Obama

I know I have not been posting. I've been somewhat uninspired. I'm going to try to inspire myself for the new year.

This inspired me (via andrewsullivan.com):

Girlfight!

We all would have been better staying home baking cookies.


Also, apologies for the lack of posts. I'll do better. I promise.

My First Amateur Gourmet Post

It's finally here!

Surprise!

I'm happy. Bet you never thought you'd see that on my blog, did you? I'm cooking all the time and kicking ass, if I do say so myself.

The Oil Puddle of Chicago

Update.

So I am in Chicago and there are moments when it feels regressive and there are moments when it does not. There are good things: calm people, warm buildings, seeing Planthead, yellow trees, np most of the time. And there are less good things: feeling trapped inside at night because I'm living on a street with crack dealers, not having a rhythm, the spectre that hangs above np's bed, the constant realization that I slept through the whole four years I lived here ("Wait, where is North Avenue?").

I haven't been working on my novel in the way that I should be. I put this out there to shame myself into doing it. If you all want to add to the shame, feel free.

However, I am doing well. I feel whole, capable, ready. As you can see from the above picture, not much changes out here. It's like one big Museum of Natural History.

My New Digs

I can now also be found at The Amateur Gourmet, where I am one of the new interns. Exfoliate! will remain alive, of course. My apologies for the past week's quiet. Updates to follow.

Oh Johnny Boy!

Increasingly I find myself supporting John Edwards. Yes, that's right: All ten dollars of my campaign contributions are going to go to him. I advise my constituency, by which I mean all ten of my readers, to support him as well.

This ad is a bit terms-of-endearment manipulative, but it works. I trust him and he kicked ass on Tuesday's debate. Furthermore, aside from Kucinich, who basically disqualified his candidacy by admitting to having seen a UFO, Edwards is the only candidate with any balls to say what's what.

Grit Off

I have been thinking about posting regarding Colbert's presidential run, because I think this idea of his has planted the seeds for his demise. It was funny until the mainstream media started picking it up, at which point it became somewhat scary. The excitement around Stephen Colbert's run only reinforces the country's sense that liberals/young people/Gen Y/single people are disengaged and would rather laugh about politics than make a difference. I think Colbert's show serves a good purpose generally, and it is more subversive than any other television I've seen recently. But this has taken it too far and has undermined his own and his viewers' credibility.

That said, I found this clip pretty funny.

Green Death

I try not to think about death too much. When considering whether to come home for Thanksgiving, np put it succinctly: "It will be like spending five days with Death." Anyway, back in the days when I used to think about death a lot, I thought a green funeral would be nice. ("I'd like to turn into a sunflower!" Maude says.) GOOD Magazine's recent illustration reminded me of that sentiment. I suppose I should update my will to this effect.

Return of Sentimentality

Whenever I watch baseball, I get teary. When the Red Sox get home runs I have to cough and turn away so that no one will notice that I'm crying. And God help me when they play the national anthem.

These are not normal expressions of happiness. I am a highly sensitive person.

Netflix Throttle

Now, I am of the opinion that Netflix has been one of the great institutions of our time. And I know they are having trouble now because Blockbuster is kicking their ass. And, I will preface this post by saying that I may be a total loser right now because I am living alone on Cape Cod and am addicted to The Wire.

However, I only recently reactivated my account and at first the turnaround was one business day, despite my remote location. Now, about six weeks later the turnaround is two and sometimes three business days (which means I am often without movies over the weekend when I need most to escape from my parents), despite my taking the movies to the post office early in the day. I had thought the "Netflix Throttle" was just an urban legend, but I am now sure that I am being subject to it.

For those of you not in the know, the Netflix Throttle is the phenomenon in which heavy Netflix users experience delays in service compared to less heavy users (and let's just admit it: Netflix is a drug). The reason for this: profit. It costs Netflix 78 cents for every movie they ship to you. If you are, like me, paying $14.99 for a 3-at-a-time plan, you can easily cost them more than you are paying them. Hence the throttle. In theory it is a stick (as opposed to a carrot) encouraging you to upgrade your plan.

Me resorting to strange activities without Netflix

It used to be that the throttle could easily be solved by emptying one's queue. No more! The CEO has admitted to the throttle, though he alleges it is only for new releases.

So, I thought to myself, Netflix is a reasonable institution. They're kind of indie. They have basically banished commercials from my life and raised my cultural capital with their fine selection of foreign films. I will just send them an email asking them to remove the throttle.

Now, here is where I became motivated to write this post: you cannot email Netflix. And not only that, you cannot snail mail Netflix. You must call. Hmm. This seems like a rather strange customer service policy for a company that has made its fortune via loser geeks like me who don't want to have to talk to people. Well, okay, I thought, this is merely to dissuade people from useless inquiries. I will call.

I called. No wait time; I give them points for that. Conversation with dumb woman as follows:
Agent: We don't do that. There's no tag on your account.
Me: Really? Because I'm pretty sure that there is. And your CEO admitted to this process.
Agent: No, we don't do that.
Me: Well, look, you don't need to admit to it. But can you please just remove whatever is holding up my account. I've been a Netflix customer for almost five years now.
Agent: I'll need specific details about what's been held up.
Me: All right. I can email that to you but I'll need some time. Can I get an email address? I'd like to put this in writing.
Agent: We don't have email anymore. We've upgraded our phone service.
Me: There's no one in customer service I can email?
Agent: No. But you can call back.

At this point I hung up. They won't let you put anything in writing. They don't want to be sued (as they were several years ago for false advertising). I would have sent a registered letter, but where?

Does anyone have any ideas about collective action on this? Must we just cancel our Netflix accounts in silent protest? Seems pretty useless.

Only at Andover

To put it succinctly: someone fucked up. Tibetan monks came to Andover to build a sand mandala, assuming it was going to be preserved, but a translation error led to the mandala's being thrown into Rabbit Pond. For those of you unversed in the geography of Andover, Massachusetts, Rabbit Pond was also the scene of Humphrey Bogart's submersion of the headmaster, leading to Bogart's expulsion.

The Phillipian » After Poor Translation, Monks’ Mandala Accidentally Destroyed in Rabbit Pond: "As the mandala was slowly lowered into the waters of Rabbit Pond, the monks grew increasingly irritated and appeared to be upset. They began to cry out loudly and threw their arms up in anguish.

Another hit against the multiculti prep school.

Classified: Silly String

ABC News: "The military is reluctant to talk about the use of Silly String, saying that discussing specific tactics will tip off insurgents."

Oh.

Red Sox Nation and House

My mother has filled the house with the sounds of the Red Sox, and because they have won, I will be subjected to TV noise for another night. The Cape is making me weird. It is time to move on.

Roundup!

A political roundup post, since everyone wants to hear about my very boring personal life and doesn't "want to hear about Obama" ahem:

1.) From Mike Huckabee's website:
"The FairTax will replace the Internal Revenue Code with a consumption tax, like the taxes on retail sales forty-five states and the District of Columbia have now. All of us will get a monthly rebate that will reimburse us for taxes on purchases up to the poverty line, so that we're not taxed on necessities. That means people below the poverty line won't be taxed at all. We'll be taxed on what we decide to buy, not what we happen to earn. We won't be taxed on what we choose to save or the interest those savings earn. The tax will apply only to new goods, so we can reduce our taxes further by buying a used car or computer."

Now, it is generally my feeling that flat taxes are not progressive enough and overtax the poor. However, despite some of my stark opposition to Huckabee's other positions (most especially his being in favor of a constitutional amendment to define marriage as between a man and a woman), I think he is generally a good guy and that he may win the nomination. His website provides no further elaboration on this flat tax idea so what this rebate for "necessities" would be and how the poverty line would be determined (would it be national or state-by-state; you're a lot poorer in New York City than you are in Georgia, simply because the cost of living is higher) are not clear. Also, how much this fair tax would be has not been specified.

But I am very much in favor of any government plans which decrease conspicuous consumption, and if this would encourage people to buy things used, that would be a great thing. It would also require manufacturers to slow down planned obsolescence and look at potential resale values . . . We could get back those amazing original refrigerators from the fifties that lasted forever. And also maybe stop buying, well, shit.

2.) This is more important than the above post, but html is a pain (not that I really even use it) so I'm going to put it second. Ron Rosenbaum has a great article in Slate here. It's not just great, it is monumentally important. Please read it. I'm begging you. It discusses NSPD-51, a presidential directive (done by executive fiat and not passed through congress)--Note: This has already gone through, in May and no one noticed. He notes Naomi Wolf as saying the following

"Scenario for 2008: Sometime in middle to late summer, perhaps early fall, a "terrorist attack," or a natural disaster occurs, allowing Bush to suspend the elections in the name of "national security," and take the control of the government via the "National Security Presidential Directive/NSPD 51" and "Homeland Security Presidential Directive/HSPD-20," released by the WH May 9^th of this year. He could remain in control as long as he wanted. Now, wouldn't THAT be an interesting nightmare?"

Now, Naomi Wolf is just about my least favorite person in the world, and I have seen her naked, which, according to the way she acts and presents herself, ought to have changed my feelings about her (note the Harold Bloom puts hand on knee incident (rape! by Harold Bloom!) and her telling Al Gore to wear earth tones in the 2000 election.) I haven't read her books because I find her personally distasteful; every time I try to reduce my caloric intake I think of her talking about how her 1100 calorie diet at age eleven that played right into the hands of the patriarchy--I mean a carrot is a carrot is a carrot. But I give her credit for the above and for her recent discussions about our descent into fascism. (And also for exposing my blatant hypocrisy in attacking her appearance while discussing her political views.)

What I mean to say: this is a very serious article (the one by Rosenbaum) and I hope you will all read it and talk about it with everyone you know because it is fucking terrifying, not least because no one has noticed.

Patches

This is an old video that a commenter left (who are you, "KD?") which I have been meaning to post, but which disappeared via my wireless out here (occasionally my posts get lost). I love this. It is the best animal video I think I've ever seen. Much better than the cat playing the piano. So thank you!

Digital Chocolate Laxative

I sent my first virtual gift today (a clownhead sundae) via the Facebook app "Love Ice Cream." I know this makes me a total loser, but I want to take a moment to advocate for the virtual gift:

1) it is free
2) it is 100% carbon neutral
3) it creates no waste
4) it requires no labor

The virtual gift is like a Snackwells. All the satisfaction, none of the guilt. Only Snackwells taste like cardboard. But that is beside the point. You feel like you've conspicuously consumed, and thus satisfy your craving, but you haven't! This is a similar sensation to how I felt buying American Apparel clothes in SecondLife.

I know virtual reality is bad, but it is also available and can occasionally be used for the common good.

Do you think the virtual gift is like Zizek's chocolate laxative? Post a comment. Everyone else is doing it. (Thank you for your comments!!! I love you readers!)

The Void, Again

I am done applying to law school. Now I will have to find a purpose in life.

Suggestions?

This Makes Me Happy

Signifier and Signified

I'm sorry to double up on Daily Show clips, but this one is just too brilliant to pass up. It is also quite real and terrifying.

SCHIP Veto

C.I.D.

On torture issue #6,542, I will make two points:

Secret U.S. Endorsement of Severe Interrogations - New York Times:

1.) Bush Administration officials "had privately decided the agency did not have to comply with another provision in the Convention Against Torture — the prohibition on “cruel, inhuman, or degrading” treatment."

What the fuck is torture if not "cruel, inhuman, or degrading" treatment? And you want to know what's worse? Within the Justice Department there is an acronym for this: C.I.D. An acronym!

2.) This is a quote from a military lawyer: "'The problem is, once you’ve got a legal opinion that says such a technique is O.K., what happens when one of our people is captured and they do it to him? How do we protest then?' he asked."

This is the absolute WORST argument against torture and I am so tired of hearing, well, wimps and pussies use it in order to calm the ruffled feathers of media types who insist on perpetrating the "ticking time bomb" scenario (this means you, McCain).

The question of whether torture is strategically advantageous is irrelevant. How have we gotten to a point where we use acronyms to discuss inhuman treatment and cannot condemn torture without seeing what's in it for us?

Hope Sinks

Obama does seem kind of grumpy these days, doesn't he? I wish I were inspired, but I'm not.

From The New Republic Online | Hope Sinks:

"Before taking questions from an audience, Obama usually seeks to preempt long-winded queries by reminding the crowd of a few ground rules, including that 'I'm the only one who gets to make a speech.' It's a reasonable request, perhaps, but one most politicians resist. Instead, Obama repeats it."

Comment!

Why doesn't anyone comment on my blog anymore? Is it because of that heated exchange I had with some lameass girl who still remains unidentified? I promise I won't attack you (provided you don't use phrases like "shows promise.") Really though, I mean it. I know you are all out there reading it, because I've had more visitors since I started posting more frequently.

Do you like the direction in which the blog is heading? Suggestions? Things you hate? Things you love? Do you know of a suitable mate for my cat?

The Application Station

This is from the New York Times Magazine today. Perhaps my resentment (disgust?) stems from the fact that no one did this for me, but I think this is very scary. The girl is 18, and though she seems nice enough, when is she ever going to be able to do anything for herself? Have we taken away all agency from Gen Y?

"Instead of using the dining-room table for all the paperwork, the
family squeezed a separate desk into Maria’s room solely for the
purpose of handling her college-application work — “the application
station,” they called it with humor. A small filing cabinet holding up
one end of the desk contained folders for each school, as well as index
cards highlighting important deadlines for each application. Atop the
desk sat her father’s favorite college admissions guidebooks, plus an
oversize calendar from Staples. On it, Maria’s mom had mapped out all
the major deadlines for the coming eight months."

Vibrator or Hair Dryer?

Your grandmother's vibrator. - By Teresa Riordan - Slate Magazine

This is the first portable, household vibrator from 1902.

I am rendered speechless.

Dust for Happiness

The reason women are unhappy is that they don't dust enough. No, really. It's in the New York Times today.

He’s Happier, She’s Less So - New York Times:
"Mr. Krueger’s data, for instance, shows that the average time devoted to dusting has fallen significantly in recent decades. There haven’t been any dust-related technological breakthroughs, so houses are probably just dirtier than they used to be. I imagine that the new American dustiness affects women’s happiness more than men’s."

I mean, sure, men could dust. But why would they? That's why they have wives, who, also according to the NYT are outearning them. Is it just me, or do most of the men in the 21-29 set seem pretty happy with this new arrangement?

To add to this: could it be possible that the new form of oppression is just June Cleaver style perfectionism with a hint of Gloria Steinem thrown in (perpetrated primarily by women like me in the 18-45 age group)? Most of the men I know are pretty chill compared to their female partners. So here's how it works.: The bar is set impossibly high and men fail to contribute to either housework or income. Women get anxious. Men calm them down. Therefore, men have an important role and women are nutcases. Therefore, if I leave my husband, I'll never survive on my own.

This problem seems to be particularly prevalent among the smarter women I know. Fuckin' success. Hate it.

Organism that Eats Brains

Arizona Boy Dies Of Rare Infection:

"PHOENIX -- A 14-year-old Lake Havasu boy has become the sixth victim to die nationwide this year of a microscopic organism that attacks the body through the nasal cavity, quickly eating its way to the brain."

All due respect to the dead, but that's gross.

Apparently I have a high level of moral disgust. You can test your own morals out at yourmorals.org.

Does this happen to you?

You know when you get in a fight with someone you love and have to stay on the phone until you die because what if you die still in the fight? I hate that.

Giraffes Fight with Their Necks

This gets pretty exciting around 1:45, for those of you who are impatient.

In Which I Lose My Inheritance

The consensus on tonight's debate seems to be that Edwards won (if Hillary didn't lose, says Pat Buchanan). My father called me a few nights ago after the PBS debate. I told him I was beginning to support Edwards, because he is the only viable candidate who will stand up in real ways for equal opportunity in the US.

(I should also add that his response to the ridiculous claims leveled against him re: his haircuts was brilliant and spot on.)

My father's response: "I'm going to tell you something, Lisbeth. And I told your mother this last night. If you vote for Edwards, don't expect to inherit anything from us, because he is going to tax us like crazy and he's a leftist liberal. "

All the more reason to vote for him.